Columnist tries popular class that separates the men from the women.
I am clinging as if clinging to life itself, muscles I didn’t know I owned now straining, parts of my body previously unfamiliar to me suddenly calling out, begging for a break.
Or a Valium. Or a Budweiser.
I am feeling many things at the moment, not one of which is sexy.
“One of the great things about this,” Collette Kakuk says, “is that it caters to you as a woman.”
This is when I realize I probably should point out to my instructor that I am not, in the most technical sense, female.
But there’s no time for that now because now I have to execute a spin, hooking one leg and twirling the other while lifting myself off the floor, all the while exploring my sensuality and expressing my flirtation nature. And trying to protect my groin.
You know, men really shouldn’t pole dance.
“We have noticed,” Kakuk says, “that it doesn’t look right.”
No, it doesn’t. Personally, I resemble a square-dancing primate, my moves not from The Great Gatsby but more from the Grape Ape.
Thankfully, this isn’t about being a good dancer or really about dancing at all. This is about toning muscles, burning fat and building serious self-confidence, even if it’s sometimes done while wearing FootUndeez, a product that bills itself as “underwear for your feet.”
This is OC Pole Fitness, a company started in Aliso Viejo 21/2 years ago by Kakuk, who recently opened a second location in Huntington Beach.